Emotional Regulation
Supporting Mental Health During Separation and Divorce: The Power of Emotional Regulation
May 5–11 is National Mental Health Awareness Week, and this year’s focus is on emotional regulation—a vital skill for navigating life’s challenges, especially during major transitions like separation and divorce.
What is Emotional Regulation? Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and respond to emotions in a healthy, constructive way. While it’s natural to feel a range of emotions—anger, sadness, fear, even gratitude—how we respond to those feelings can significantly impact our wellbeing.
Contrary to popular belief, regulating emotions doesn’t mean suppressing them. Emotions arise automatically, but we can choose how we react. When overwhelmed, we may say or do things we regret. Emotional regulation helps us pause, reflect, and act in alignment with our values—especially critical when emotions run high during separation or divorce.
The Role of Parents
For parents, learning emotional regulation isn’t just self-care—it’s a responsibility. Children learn how to handle difficult emotions by watching how the adults around them respond. By practicing emotional regulation during separation or divorce, parents can model resilience, emotional honesty, and thoughtful behavior, helping their children feel safer and more supported through the changes in the family system.
How to Practice Emotional Regulation:
Pause and breathe: Deep breathing calms the nervous system.
Notice your feelings: Tune into your body and thoughts.
Name the emotion: Identifying feelings like “anger” or “grief” can reduce their intensity.
Accept the emotion: Acknowledge that your feelings are valid and normal.
Use grounding techniques: Shift focus to the present to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Name 5 things you See, 4 things you Feel, three things you Hear, two things you Smell and one thing you Taste. Essentially, scan all 5 senses.
Act on your values: Let what matters most guide your responses, not just your emotions.
Emotional regulation is a skill that takes time and practice—but it can be a lifeline when going through emotionally charged situations like divorce. Learning to regulate your emotions not only supports your own healing, but also helps you communicate more effectively and make thoughtful decisions for yourself and your family.