A superb article was written by Carmela DeNicola, mediator specializing in business, workplace and divorce consultant. For the full article, please click here: www.advancedmediationsolutions.net, May 2021.

I have summarized the pivotal points of what a mediator does and does not do in the mediation process.

7 Things a Divorce Mediator Does:

Facilitate the Mediation Process

Mediators are in charge of the process, and we facilitate a discussion between the spouses or parties. We are neutral, third-party participants who have no vested interest in the outcome. Educate Parents/Parties

A major part of a mediator’s job is to educate participants on the details of the process, how the sessions are going to work, and how parties can get the most out of it.

Help Parties Develop Solutions

In many cases, we are able to come up with innovative and creative solutions to help address individual circumstances, a result that is far less likely in a court setting.

Create a Safe Environment

The divorce mediator is there to create a safe environment where each participant can feel comfortable during each session. The sessions can be done in-person or remotely depending on the preferences of the spouses. And in some cases, spouses can be in different rooms during mediation with the mediator going back and forth between them. This process is known as caucusing.

Encourage Dialogue

As the facilitator, the mediator encourages dialogue between the parent/parties. By getting everything out on the table, we can more quickly move the discussion toward settlement options.

Keep Couples Focused on the Future

Sometimes, discussions can get off track and people can start heading down rabbit trails. The mediator keeps the couples focused on the big picture and what they want in the future, which helps get the discussion back on track.

Help Couples Focus on Children and Family

In addition to successfully resolving the divorce, one of the major goals of mediation is to work on the settlement in a civil and cooperative manner for the sake of the children and to help preserve delicate family relationships for the long-term.

4 Things a Divorce Mediator Does NOT Do

Make Decisions

A divorce mediator is not a judge, and they have no authority to make decisions on behalf of either parent or spouse. Mediation is a voluntary process, and no settlement can become legally binding unless both parties agree to it.

Provide Legal Advice

The mediator is not a legal representative for any of the participants, and they are not there to provide legal advice. Parents/parties are free to retain their own legal counsel if they feel the need to, but you do not need an attorney in order to enter into divorce mediation.

Serve as Referees

Mediators are not there to referee conflicts between the parents/parties. As we discussed earlier, the goal of mediation is to settle the terms and conditions of the divorce. Although venting frustrations is appropriate at times during the sessions, participants are expected to be civil and to enter into the process in good faith.

Share Details of the Mediation Sessions

Mediation is a confidential process, and everything that is discussed during the sessions stays between the participants. The mediator will never share any of the session details with the court or anyone else.