8 Key Attributes to Conflict Resolution
According to an well known International Conflict Resolution trainer and author, Ralph Kilmann, who noted in a recent post on April 28, 2025 the following:
"Regarding ANY conflict with ANY other person, group, or team, choose the particular conflict-handling mode (competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating) that best matches the key attributes of the situation. Therefore, do NOT use any conflict mode simply out of habit or based only on your personal preferences. Instead, choose—and use—one or more of the five conflict modes based exclusively on how you would answer these eight questions:
The Eight Key Attributes of a Conflict Situation
- Is there overwhelming stress?
- Is the conflict simple or complex?
- How important is the topic to each person in the situation?
- Is there time to discuss the issues?
- Is there sufficient trust to openly share needs and concerns?
- Do people have good listening and communication skills?
- Does the culture and reward system actively encourage people to share their true needs and concerns?
- How important are relationships to each person in the situation?
Depending on the state of these eight attributes, members and parties should choose the conflict mode that has the best chance of satisfying not only their most important needs but also the most important needs of the other person(s), the group, the organization, and other key internal and external stakeholders."
These 8 key attributes are very relevant in family law and dispute resolution in particular. These key factors are fluid and can and do change over the time span of a matter and as such are important to consider and assess regularly.
The diagram and graph above shows that mediation is best approached when there is a high level of cooperation coupled with the parties being able to be assertive and openly express their needs and goals. This typifies a Collaborative approach.
Conversely, stakeholders are not ready for mediation if level of cooperativeness is low with a low assertiveness which consequently results in avoidance of the conflict rather than dealing with it head-on.
Most often times, Mediation is indicative of a Compromising paradigm, where level of cooperativeness is balanced against level of assertiveness and willingness to reach consensus.